#also the digs at banned about how obviously as lesbians they could read it correctly and she couldn't
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bisolationist · 1 year ago
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Do you know if bannedwebsites ever remade? I miss her.
/pusheen-the-radical/707800096738263040/menalez-menalez-bannedwebsites-menalez
I'm so mad shit like this made us lose a great woman and ally. They just came in and decided obviously anything asking for basic respect is instead evil and homophobic. There was no reason to assume it was about wanting to invade lesbian spaces specifically that was such an asspull, it was obviously about LGB spaces as a whole. They're not bi so I don't expect them to get it but no, "everywhere else is a you-friendly space" is just not true for bi women. They always want to equate how we're identical to het women and then say we're being homophobic if we don't agree. that post speaks to me so much because when i dated a man i lost so much of my support network. its about how people, and other bi women too, dehumanize us and see us as 'ruined', call us nasty names behind our back, and encourage other people to also dehumanize us on threat of ostracizing them too. and i was lucky, i've seen bi women who were abused by homophobes who then had it much worse, with people even supporting their het abusers, or attacking them at LGB support groups. One woman I met wasn't even dating the man that SAd her but people still said she had no place in LGB groups.
No I have no idea :( though I agree I thought she was great. (though tbh even if I did know if she'd remade, I wouldn't out someone unless I explicitly knew they were trying to find old followers. Psst people sending me asks about other tumblr users - this is why I haven't responded, sorry). And yeah oh god, I remember this shit. I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences. Unfortunately I've heard a lot of things like that. I experienced something very similar, with a lot of my friends ditching me very quickly when I figured out it was bi. It was definitely hurtful, isolating, and set me up for a lot of bad relationships (ironically mostly with older men, since I was suddenly frozen out from most social gatherings on campus). I've unfortunately heard from a staggering amount of bi people at this point on similar things, especially about being treated badly by LGB groups after being assaulted or abused in some way. I've mentioned this repeatedly on this blog, but it baffles me how biphobia seems to intensify whenever bisexuals are victimized by heterosexuals, as if being shown that we DO experience homophobia makes them angry? On the micro level, if people find bisexuality so abhorrent for whatever reason, it's not like we can force them to be better friends/people, and there's no amount of messages like this that'll make those people act any different. They're proud of how they treat bisexuals just like those people are proud to read malicious intent in even the mildest pleas for respect or civility. On the macro level it's like... yeah we do need to challenge this notion that we become immune to past, present, and future homophobia the second we're in an other-sex relationship and therefore it's okay to treat us exactly like heterosexuals. I don't know why they think people that were homophobic to us will suddenly treat us well, or that we won't face homophobia in the future. For the millionth time, it's really extra nasty to say this about bi women considering how often they are abused by their male partners. But that of course is discounted (despite it being directly addressed in the third post), this is obviously a nasty evil plot by bihets to pretend to be oppressed. And yeah it's funny how they always end up comparing us to heterosexuals and insisting we're just as widely beloved and supported as they are. It's pathetically transparent since something as simple as "don't treat bi women as extensions of men" seems to cause so much indignation.
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